some random thoughts

salam and hi.

it has been i think 1 freaking year that i last updated in this blog. i amma lazy bum (slap on my head).

i really really really adore and respect those bloggers who are really keen on writing their blogs and keep the blogs updated. thumbs up guys! really

by the way, it's already the middle of december 2015. we have about 15 more days before the new year begins. and you know, the same ol' tradition of celebrating new year all over the world. and not forgetting, people will start asking around what's everyone's wish-list or even hopes. to be honest, i used to be one of those, but thinking that i like to dream a lot; like A LOT, so i think i will just drop that this coming 2016 :P

lots of things happened in 2015 and they were life-changing things i tell you. hmm, just let me keep it to myself. i have been planning to start on rambling in this blog again. let's hope i can consistenly writes in this blog, insyaALLAH amin. well, where there's a will, there gotta be a way isn't it? hahahaha let's see how long it would last. -_-"

and i have been planning to start study again. yes, you heard it correct. i am planning to take up masters degree class, by part time-- which means, hello sacrifaction. i know it's gonna take lot of money, time and energy, and most important of all, my priorities. i really really need to jumble up my life back and need to follow what i planned before i work. the time has come. another factor would be my sister, i think. she's in the middle of completing her masters degree in ukm now, full time mode. it would be easy for her since she's not working yet. so, she doesn't have to think for other commitments-- i mean work, priorities etc. lucky for her it is a-one-year-masters-programme, so she can finish that real soon and started looking for job. but not for me, it was a very different story. i need to consider many things before i really made up my mind to take up masters class.

but insyaALLAH, i will make that happen, eventhough i had to sacrifice my life. i know i might loose some, but hey, let's look at the brigther side, i may have achieve more. i don't know. just trying to be positive.

i think that would be all for now. till next time. hahaha i can't believe i am writing, again! hahaha oat on my shoulder.

p/s: my lecturer used to tell me, "just write whatever you wanted to tell. don't think" so here's the outcome :P

byeeeee :)

i am back :)

* spring cleaning the blog after abandoned it for almost 1 year and a half *

salam and hi to all,
at last i have the guts to write; again.

hahaha....i've been so so so busy with work and life lately that i literally abandoned this blog for a while. why did i said literally? i still do bloghopping and blogwalking some other times, it's just that i didn't have the feeling to write on my blog anymore.

but now i'm back :D

bila rasa itu muncul

rasa itu kembali lagi setelah lama menghilang.
aku tak suka rasa yang satu ini, sebab ia buat aku terluka dan kecewa.
walaupun aku sendiri tak tahu sebabnya aku jadi begitu.

kadang-kadang aku rasa tidak adil kerana aku saja yang jadi mangsanya, sedangkan dia
tapi bila difikirkan kembali, wujudkah perasaan itu walau sekelumit di dalam hati dia?
sungguh aku tak tahu, dan hampir kadang malas untuk ambil tahu.
tapi semakin lama aku tipu diri sendiri, semakin banyak ia menghantui aku.

aku hanya insan biasa, punya hati yang paling dalam.
hati yang paling dalam itulah hati yang paling 'fragile' bak kata kawan-kawan,
ya, aku tak nafikan. memang aku ini sensitif dan cengeng, cepat saja air mata dan aku berkawan rapat.

Ya Allah Kau hilangkanlah rasa dalam hati aku ini.
aku dah tak sanggup nak berharap pada sesuatu yang tak pasti dan sesuatu yang mungkin bukan tertulis untuk aku lansung.
selama ini hanya harapan palsu yang aku selalu titipkan pada hati aku yang terpaling dalam itu.
dan cukuplah,

aku sudah tak mahu jadi penipu lagi.

i love being random :D

Dunia takkan berakhir
Walau kini engkau tak disisi
Ku yakini aku mampu
Walau harus hidup tanpamu
(sakura, setelah hujan)

it's already 7th of Ramadhan, which means it has been a week of fasting month. and i really really feel that time do fly very fast nowadays.

Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for giving me chances to 'taste' this holy month once again. i hope i'll be able to change for the better day by day, Ramadhan was actually the 'special' month that i have been waited throughout the year. i feel closer to Him the Almighty during Ramadhan and most impoertantly, i feel safe (not sure for what reason, but i did) and all the naughty negative thinking will dissapear during Ramadhan!

well, that's all for now. cheerio!
but before that enjoy some interesting quotes:

" we might be trapped with our gruesome experience of negative upbringing but we forgot that we still have the choice. it's in our hand. we decide" mac taylor, csi:ny season 9 ep 2

" live hell or live well, we decide" - hlovate

upside down

arg tensennya!

air takde kat kuarters.
makanan dalam peti dah habis (leftover foods je ada :( )
kredit dah tamat tempoh, which means bbm takboleh guna
dahlah tinggal sengsorang tanpa housemate

all in ONE DAY!

i need my comfort food now, tapi nak masak camna air takde kat sini :(
alahaiii

and first time tengok dan alami sendiri macam mana keadaan langkawi yang sedang banjir
kalau dulu, pernah jugak terfikir macam mana pulau sekecil langkawi ni akan jadi kalau banjir, sekarang siap boleh tengok depan mata 'kolam sawah padi'

spring song

I wish I had someone; who suddenly arrive
And show me how the flowers grow and come out in winter field
I wish I had someone new; tender to my heart
Someone who will share me precious time

If I had pretty spring; at the corner of my heart
I will say goodbye to winter land, you so cruel the winter wind
and I will check the through the phone, the number is 131
Don’t you know the truth is in fine weather

pervert taxi driver

yes, perverts.
in one of my days in langkawi, such a horrific experience.

that was my first encountered with perverts in langkawi and it happened to be the taxi driver! it was such a seriously scary and horrifying 30 minutes in my whole life.

my first impression of that taxi driver was quite positive; by looking at his age and talkativeness, but i guess somehow it was wrong to judge people by their outer appearance(in addition to the fact that it was my first time meeting with that kind of taxi driver)

and his talkativeness just crossed over the line when he started to ask me to call him 'abang' (eeuuww) instead of pakcik (what i call him earlier) and it gets pretty annoying and uncomfortable when he started to tell me things he was not supposed to tell outsiders about (u know what)

at that point, i began to 'read' the situation in the so-called taxi and what kind of conversation he was going to direct.
that he told me how lonely he was since his wife had just met with an accident,
that he showed me his old broken taxi,
that he told me men can get married to more than one wife but it's just women who wouldn't allow them to do so,

and how i lied by telling him i'd already engaged when he was telling me 'ruginya kalau dak baru ingat nak masuk' (read: flirting)
i was like OH CAN YOU JUST STOP THE TAXI, PLEASE? I WANNA GET OUT FROM UR TAXI NOW!

being a petrified and panic person i am, i quickly text-ed my sister to give me a call though at first she refused to do so. i secretly told her about the tax driver and Alhamdulillah, i really thanked ALLAH for He protect me from any unwanted and unpleasant things.

moral of the story: don't judge people by their outer appearance