Tuesday, December 28, 2010

2010

3 days more before we can say goodbye to 2010.
hope that this upcoming year will give prosperity, happiness and success to everyone.

many things happened in 2010, but i guess it's not the end of the world, yet.
life needs to go on and may everyone changes for the better.

may ALLAH bestow upon us his neverending blessings and success.
ameen :)

Friday, December 24, 2010

random thoughts

salam and hi to all,

i've been pondering upon lots of things lately, specifically over this 3 months holidays. about peoples around me, lifes and the ups and downs that i face everyday.

speaking of which, it's not that i like to meddle into other people's life, it's just that their actions that set out many question marks in my mind. i'm not that kind of person who likes to talk bad about others mind you. i still know my limit and the fear of ALLAH is still there, but being a normal human being, i think i am just being me. person who likes to take some things seriously and that's why i am a sensitive person. because things that others wouldn't mind or would want to forget, might mean something to me.

hah! this is me, those who knows me, they know it better.
i get tension easily, mind you. why? because i like to see things/ problems from every side, both positive and negative. and sometimes, when there's a mixture of emotions, i'll get carried away with it easily. and you wouldn't want to see my sour face, which i bet is sour than green apples, or even pickles.

i'm a kind of person who didn't know to hide my emotion. a transparent one, some people would say. when i'm sad or happy, you can see them on my face. and it'll get worse if i'm not in the mood that day. you wouldn't dare to talk or be near me even!

ok ok, back to what i want to write, some things has change and some was still the same. and peoples too. i don't know why coz i just don't have the reason. thought that i can still be with the same people, having good time with them, chitter chatter, doing funny and crazy things but i guess time ruined it all. as we grow older, there are some matters that cannot be take lightly and it become the one everyone was trying to avoid. T_T

that's the journey called life. you can remember the memories but its hard to enjoy it again, the same way, with the same people. after all,those bittersweet memories will still be there, hope it will last in my mind.

The past is never dead, it is not even past.
William Faulkner

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........

the title has got nothing to do with what i wrote here. abaikan

it's 1.37 am and i'm done with my routine before sleeping, blog-hopping. :P
i didn't know why i really like to peek at other's blog and read interesting stories they've made. and after that, i'll start comparing them with mine, and at the end of the day, i'll have that kind of motivation to write. but, sadly, it didn't last longer since i'm a real procrastinator :(

and the new year's just around the corner, so i guess, as usual, my resolution for 2011 is not to have the procrastinator as my middle name anymore :P
(yes, i know that i like to make new resolution each year but failed to accomplish it)

i was just finish blog-hopping just now and all of a sudden, i feel like writing something. it's not like what i did now, blogging, i mean i want to write something that MAYBE can be published someday (in my dreams je la kot)

oh oh, apa lagi nak ditulis ni. i've run out of ideas. oh yes, speaking of which, i wonder how writers got their ideas penned down on papers, in which they have so many ideas to write and it seems like they flow as fast as waterfall! i'm very impressed. and one more thing, i wonder whether they ever run out of ideas? for once? uh oh!
tapikan mereka ini adalah penulis, so tak hairanlah kalau idea sentiasa ada menunggu nak dikeluarkan dari kepala

dear writers: can i have one of your brain, please? :P

hahahaha, looks like i've started to talk nonsense. again. hmmmmm...
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haaaaaaaaa....ada lagi satu

after i've succeedly gong through my 2 months++ holidays, i just realize that i reallyx100 needs to brush up my english!
kata nak jadi cikgu english kan, tapi cakap dan taip berterabur semacam jek.


okelah, nak tido dah.

da da

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The Opening


In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds,
The Beneficent, the Merciful.
Owner of the Day of Judgment,
Thee (alone) we worship; Thee (alone) we ask for help.
Guide us on the straight path,
The path of those whom Thou hast favored;
Not (the path) of those who earn Thine anger nor of those who go astray.

(1 : 1-7)

virus M melanda

berjumpa kembali selepas agak lama tidak berblogging
biasalah, alasan yang sama setiap kali
M.A.L.A.S

cuti akan kembali habis tak lama lagi dan aku masih disini, tak berbuat apa2 yang signifikan, sejak 3 bulan yang lalu. dan tersangatlah malas nak mulakan kembali rutin harian. dah lemau rasa semangat ni.

sebenarnya macam-macam yang aku dah rancangkan nak post dalam blog ni, tapi apakan dayaku, bila keMALASan melanda, there's nothing i can do!

plan yang masa awal2 cuti nak buat nampaknya hanya searuh sahaja yang tertunai. banyak lagi yang pendingnya. takpa2, still ada masa lagi nak kejar, lepas ni kena pecut betul2 dan tiada lagi istilah TANGGUH.

aku sedang ingat2 balik apa benda yang signifikan yang telah aku buat sepanjang 3 bulan bercuti ni. at least, benda2 tu beri impak pada aku atau orang2 terdekat sekeliling aku.

kejap kejap, kena list down semua tu...supaya nanti kalau bersoal jawab dengan diri, tak la termalu sangat tak buat apa2 yang berfaedah sepanjang cuti sakan 3 bulan tu.

1. jadi nurse masa pa sakit kaki
2. jadi cikgu tuition tak bertauliah adik2
3. ternak lemak dengan berjayanya~~ area2 penting: peha, muka, badan
4. owh...aku pergi kelantan, berkenal-kenalan dgn kmpung fiera
5. duduk kt duyong almost 3 minggu
6. konvo lanie kt tg malim
7. raya haji
8. bukit gambang resort~~ so called vacation
9. menghabiskan novel2
10. .........

adushh...banyak ni je aktiviti aku sepanjang 3 bulan cuti sakan???
memang dasar pemalas sungguh la aku ni.

takpe2, lepas ni kita tambah lagi aktiviti supaya num 3 tu terhapus

da da

Friday, December 17, 2010

:'(

sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih

p/s: not in the mood :(

Sunday, November 14, 2010

mahalnya!

betapa mahalnya harga ujian ALLAH untuk kita, untuk DIA uji tahap keimanan kita kepadaNya.

jadi jangan ambil mudah dan ingat semua yang berlaku atas diri kita adalah ujian dari ALLAH.
belum tentu ia boleh dipanggil ujian, sebab ujian ALLAH hanya untuk hambaNya yang beriman.

“Apakah manusia itu mengira bahawa mereka dibiarkan saja mengatakan; “Kami telah beriman,” sedangkan mereka tidak diuji? Dan sesungguhnya kami telah menguji orang-orang yang sebelum mereka, maka sesungguhnya Allah mengetahui orang-orang yang benar dan sesungguhnya Dia mengetahui orang-orang yang dusta.”
Surah Al-Ankabut ayat 2-3

selagi belum beriman, boleh jadi apa yang kita anggapkan ujian itu sebenarnya kifarah atas dosa-dosa kita yang lalu. kifarah atas dosa yang kita buat sebagai manusia biasa.

lalu apakah pula maksud orang yang beriman?

adakah cukup sekadar melakukan apa yang disuruhNya?
adakah cukup sekadar mentaati perintah ALLAH?
adakah cukup sekadar mempercayai Rukun Iman?
adakah cukup sekadar mentaati Rukun Islam?

betapa mahalnya harga SYURGA ALLAH, masakan Dia terima amalan-amalan yang lekeh yang kita banggakan itu. checklah samada apa yang ALLAH timpakan itu adalah ujian atau hanya sekadar kifarah atas dosa-dosa kita yang lama?

saya mahukan syurga ALLAH!

Friday, November 12, 2010

there are LIMIT for everything!

salam and hi to all,

before i proceed, i just want to ask my dear readers, what is your utmost phobia?
fyi, i am afraid of snake! really really afraid of it (actually there's a story behind it, but i'm not going to talk and babble about it here)

what would you feel when somebody makes a fool out of something you afraid the most?
i can take it, maybe for few times but if it go overboard, then i'll start to feel uneasy and could become angry.

why?

because i feel that there are limit for everything.yeah, i know maybe the real intention was to tease but initially, teasing someone with things they are really afraid of, I DON'T THINK WE CAN CALL IT AN ACT OF TEASING.

as i said earlier, i can accept it for the fact that someone may wants to tease or play with me, but once you break the limit, sorry would not cure everything. i don't know why i feel really disturbed with this kind of teasing. if it is just a name-calling like "you are fat", "you are ugly","this people like you" yada yad yada, i might consider but this??????? SO SORRY, i'm not the right person to be the victim!

sometimes we are expecting people to treat us the way we treat them, but it seems like there are no mutual agreement in this kind of thing. people will somehow treat us the way they want and yeah, it's human nature :)

if we want people to respect us, then we ourself will have to respect them first, because

respect is gain, not given

  • respect in the sense of be aware and sensitive to their character, things they like, things they hate, their life etc.
  • respect in the sense of there are still barrier between we and our friend when it comes to family matters, unless they want to spill it to us, then we can make it our matters, other than that, don't bother mingling with other people's business
  • respect in the sense of everyone is free and responsible on their own opinions, we have our own says and so do they, let them voice out their views and never force them to accept ours
and lastly,
  • respect in the sense of everyone is unique in their own way, so just accept them the way they are, its normal that human are imperfect ALLAH's creation
by the way, this is just my opinion, from what i feel right now.


till then,
salam and bye bye bye

WYSIWYG

p/s: post ni dah di edit balik sebab aku baru sedar yang aku type dalam keadaan mengantuk, entah apa2 je yang aku dah tulis sblum ni

salam and hi to all,

pernah dengar tak ayat ni?

"what you see is what you get"
atau acronymnya WYSIWYG

aku selalu jumpa perkataan ni atas tudung periuk kat umah. kononnya macam nak bagitau yang produk sekian sekian adalah terbaik, sebab masakan tu akan turn out macam mana kita lihat benda tu. contoh kalau dalam periuk, sayur yang kita masak nampak segar dan warnanya still cantik lagi, so bila keluar dari periuk pun, kita akan dapat benda yang sama. persoalannya, betul ke?

oopss...sebelum tu, aku ada gak tanya mr google yang setia tu, and quite interesting jugak bila tahu yang acronym ni sebenarnya guna untuk edit2 hasil kerja kita dalam computer, dan kita akan dapat final output seperti yang kita tengok masa editing process tadi. sebab tu lah ia dikatakan "what you see during the editing process is what you will get during the final output"

ok ok berbalik pada yang atas tu, betul ke "what you see is what you get?" atau "what we see is what we get?" bila fikir2 balik macam tak je..sebabnya apa yang kita lihat tu kadang2 tak mencerminkan benda tu secara batinnya, kita hanya tengok dari sudut zahirnya saja.

kadang2 kita lihat A happy je memanjang, tak pernah nampak sedih, hidup macam tak ada masalah, tapi kita tak tahu yang A mungkin baru je lepas menangis. takkan dia nak menangis depan orang ramai atau bagitau dia baru lepas menangis.

dedolu masa aku zama muda mudi remaja, aku suka sangat perhatikan orang ramai, tambah2 kalau aku tengah tunggu bas ke, jalan kaki balik dari kelas tuisyen, tengah tunggu Ma nak ambil dari kelas tuisyen, atau even kat sekolah masa rehat. aku rasa manusia ni menarik, ada macam2 emosi dan walaupun diorang tunjukkan emosi yang sama, reaksi dan mimik muka MESTI tak akan sama!

pastu, bila dah menilik2 gelagat dorang, aku ada tendency untk wat conclusion pasal dia. pantang nampak orang cantik je, aku akan terdetik dalam hati, mesti ramai orang suka kat dia, mesti dia baik, pantang nampak orang happy je, mesti aku akan fikir dia takde masalah, happy go lucky je dia, pantang nampak orang pandai je, mesti nak fikir yang dia tak payah susah2 belajar, senang boleh score dalam exam etc etc etc

tapiiiii, tu dulu. masa zaman otak tak berkembang lagi, sekarang ni dah lain. mungkin sebab dulu tu aku tak matured sepenuhnya lagi dan tak pernah terdedah dengan persekitaran yang berbeza, jadi senang je nak judge orang sesuka hati sesedap rasa secukup gula :P

padahal ade je orang cantik yang rasa susah sebab ramai orang nak dekati dia sampai buat dia rasa rimas dan lemas,
padahal ade je orang happy yang sebenarnya lebih banyak masalah dan dia tutup dengan tayang muka happy, supaya orang lain pun happy
dan padahal ade je orang rajin yang study betul2 untuk sampai ke tahap dia ada sekarang
"bukan senang nak senang"

tapi tu lah dia, first impression tu sangat penting untuk tonjolkan diri kita yang sebenarnya. orang akan judge kita based on apa yang dorang tengok masa first time tu. tapi selalu je aku tersalah teknik. aku selalu rasa takpe kot awal2 orang kenal, tak perlulah nak baik sangat, nnti lama2 dorang dah kenal kita macam mana, nampaklah true colours tu. tapi, adalah sedikit tersasar aku punya pemikiran mcm tu. people tend to judge kita through the very first time they met us, so kalau first impression dah gred B, payah jugak lah nak tukar ke gred A unless ada sumthing yang boleh buat orang tu satisfy dengan kita.

hmmmm oklah, need to pen down now

till then,
salam and bye bye

nota kaki: dah lama rasanya tak menulis macam ni.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

ini adalah post random

salam and hi to all,

november dah menjengah lebih kurang 10 hari, dan barulah aku terperasan yang oktober dah lama tinggalkan kita. sedar tak sedar dah nak dekat sebulan aku mula bercuti lepas habis praktikum hari tu.

sekejap je masa berlalu dan sejak start cuti tu, aku rasa hidup ni tak produktif sangatlah. tidur-makan-tengok tv-kuar jenjalan ------> tu je la kerja aku sejak bercuti ni. teringing jugak nak kerja, tapi apakan daya, takde sapa pun yang macam menyokong aku kerja.bila dah jadi macam tu, lagilah semangat nak kerja tu merudum dan merudum dan merudum. last-last, here i am, doing the same things every day...kadang2 naik bosan jugak, sebab tu aku kena fikirkan nak buat apa lepas ni, supaya masa yang ada tak terbuang macam tu je

ada jugak terfikir nak buat kelas intensif bahasa inggeris dengan kawan2 adik aku, tu pun masih dalam perancangan. semoga ada sambutan, sambil2 tu boleh jugak ajar adik aku yang bakal ambil PMR next year. aku pun dah start merangka2 nak buat apa dengan diorang tu. maybe akan masukkan jugak kot intensive class untuk spoken english. semoga ALLAH permudah semuanya :)

sementara masih cuti panjang ni, elok jugak kalau aku start balik menulis dengan serius. jangan main-main dah. buat sikit2 lama2 jadi bukit. tapi, maybe projek ni perlukan banyak kesabaran dan pemikiran kot. mana boleh pakat main tulis je, kalau takde isi dan materials (chewah! mcm penulis terkenal la pulak :P)

so, sekarang ni, resolutions untuk cuti yang masih berbaki lebih kurang 2 bulan lagi ni:

1. start blogging dengan aktif-at least 1 post a day
2. start menulis dengan SERIUS!
3. think think think and think- benda yang ada faedah dan ada isi
4. kumpul dan download kertas2 soalan english PMR
5. cari balik buku grammar dan kamus yang aku buat masa sekolah dedolu
6. fikirkan nak ajar apa dekat budak2
7. habiskan stok2 novel yang bertimbun2
8. beli novel banyak2 sementara masih ada peluang :P
9. maintain dan kalau boleh turunkan lagi body weight :P (errr...ni tak termasuk kot)

haaaaaa....amik kau! 9 tu, tapi macam entah apa2 je. aaah! biarkan, yang penting aku ada tujuan nak dicapai. bila dah hbis nanti, kena cross out benda2 yang dah tertunai tu

oklah bye bye
(aku mengantuk sebenarnya)

Saturday, November 6, 2010

there's always a rainbow after the rain 2

it's been almost 2 weeks since happiness knock on our door.
and now, ALHAMDULILLAH, everything seems quite lively and happy again :)

masa awal2 tu semuanya seakan2 sedih dengan keadaan Pa.macam2 kemungkinan yang aku fikir. aku takut kalau2 kaki Pa kena potong, macam mana keadaan keluarga kitorang? walaupun semuanya dah besar2 (setakat ni tak ada yang sekolah rendah), tapi takkan nak harapkan Ma je...kesian jugak dekat Ma. tapi macam orang kata, berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu yang memikul, betapa berat aku fikirkan pasal kemungkinan segalanya tu, aku tahu Pa yang menanggungnya lagilah terasa.

kadang2 aku tengok Pa macam cuba nak sembunyikan bimbang dia dari kitorang. masa nak cuci luka dia, aku akan wat dengan berhati-hati dan paling slow sebab aku takut Pa rasa sakit. tapi, Pa selalu kata;
"takpe Na, Pa tak sakit pun. tak rasa sakit langsung. cuma nampak luka saja"

mula2 aku tak percaya jugak, aku ingat Pa tak mau tunjukkan sakit dia depan kitorang tapi bila aku tanya dia setiap kali nak dressing luka tu, dia tetap bagitau benda yang sama. aku tahu, Pa takkan tipu kitorang. dia akan bagitau kalau dia rasa sakit. sampai dia kata;
"kalau Pa sakit, Pa akan bagitau. jangan risau"

hanya ALLAH je yang tahu macam mana perasaan kitorang sekeluarga. semuanya takut tapi pada masa yang sama, kitorang kena berfikiran positive sebab tak mau Pa jadi lagi psycho. cukup2 lah dengan doktor2 tu, tak payah kitorang pulak tambahkan kebimbangan Pa. dia dah cukup derita menanggung sakit tu, takkan nak ditambah lagi tanggungan Pa.

sepanjang Pa cuti dan duduk di rumah, dia banyak perhatikan keadaan rumah yang sebenar. macam mana keadaannya masa Pa tengah sibuk bekerja dan kitorang cuti. kalau dulu, sebelum Pa sakit, payah sangat nak tengok muka dia kat rumah kecuali Ahad, tu pun sebab dia cuti, kalau tak, malam je lah boleh jumpa. aku selalu rasa pelik kalau Pa ada kat rumah sebelum ni, tapi sekarang rasa macam dah biasa bila Pa ada kat rumah. kitorang sembang macam2 benda.

pernah hari tu Cunah(adik Pa) call, dan Pa bagitau Cunah yang dia rasa respek dan hormat pada orang perempuan yang boleh uruskan rumah tangga tanpa mengeluh atau complaint apa2. dia rasa respek sebab perempuan boleh uruskan dan habiskan kerja rumah yang tak akan pernah habis. bila aku dengar Pa cakap macam tu dengan Cunah, aku rasa bangga pun ada sebab Pa jarang puji benda2 macam ni kecuali kalau dia betul2 maksudkannya.

dan sampai ke hari ni, ALHAMDULILLAH berkat sokongan keluarga dan semangat Pa sendiri yang nak sembuh, luka tu makin baik tapi mungkin perlu beberapa hari lagi sebelum Pa betul2 recover to its original condition.

********************************************************

sesungguhnya benda yang berlaku ni membuatkan aku rasa sangat bersyukur.
kalau ALLAH nak bagi sakit, bila2 masa pun Dia boleh bagi
dan
kalau ALLAH nak bagi sembuh, bila2 masa pun Dia boleh bagi sembuh.
itulah kebesaran ALLAH.

Maka yang mana satu di antara nikmat-nikmat Tuhan kamu, yang kamu hendak dustakan?

Maha Sucilah nama Tuhanmu yang mempunyai Kebesaran dan Kemuliaan.
(Ar-Rahman)

Pa selalu rujuk pada ayat ni masa dia sakit. sebab dia tahu, sakit ni hanyalah ujian ALLAH buat dirinya. sebab tu Pa jadi kuat :)

aku pun sepatutnya didik diri aku untuk terima sahaja ujian dan ketentuan ALLAH. serah segalanya kepada ALLAH bulat2, aku tiada kuasa nak menolak atau terima apa2 pun. semoga aku juga jadi kuat, macam Pa

:)

Friday, November 5, 2010

there's always a rainbow after the rain

oh how i miss blogging!

ALHAMDULILLAH, all praises are due to ALLAH, the Great.
syukur kaki Pa dah semakin sembuh, berbanding dengan sebelum ni. lukanya tak lah seteruk mana, tapi sebab ia berkait dengan diabetes, jadi tempoh luka nak sembuh agak memakan masa sikit.

masa Pa sakit-sakit macam ni, Alhamdulillah aku dah start cuti, kalau tidak susah jugak Ma nak uruskan semua. at least aku dapat ringankan beban Ma, dengan jadi matron peribadi Pa. hahahaha..aku lah yang wat semuanya, check glucose level Pa setiap pagi, serve makanan, dressing luka, serve ubat etc. bukan nak riak ke apa ke, tapi aku syukuuurrrrrrrrrrr sangatx100 dapat take part masa Pa susah-susah mcm ni. aku kan blajar jauh juga (walaupun bukan di obersea, tapi payah nak balik unless ada emergency sangat2) so bila time2 mcm ni lah nak amik peluang berbakti pada orang tua :)

masa mula2 Pa gtau kata dia sakit kaki, aku ingatkan sakit biasa2 je, taklah teruk mana pun, tapi bila tengok sendiri keadaan kaki Pa, reaction aku mula2 tu memang unimaginable sangat. aku TERKEJUT giler! yelah, tak sangka teruk macam tu, sampai kaki tu bengkak walhal luka kecik sangat. tapi kalau dah nama ada diabetes tu, luka lah sebesar mana pun, tetap akan ambil masa nak sembuh.

mula2 tu jugak Pa bgtau ada doktor tu cakap dia kena Gout. kitorang sekeluarga terkejut sangat2. aku pun google and cari pasal penyakit ni, gambar2 yang berkaitan, punca2, cara rawatan, pantang etc. then, pegi rujuk pada doktor lain, dia cakap diabetes saje, bukan gout. stress level kat rumah dah turun sikit, pastu naik balik bila doktor tu cuba nak psycho Pa dengan bagitau mcm2 yang tak masuk akal, possibilities nya kuman akan masuk ke tulang, kena potong kaki yada yada yada. lagilah Pa tension, walaupun dia tak tunjuk tapi aku tahu dia cuba nak sembunyikan. nampaklah setiap hari dia belek2 luka dia, belek2 kaki dia. kesiaann aku rasa tengok Pa mcm tu.

lama kelamaan, aku tengok Pa makin okey dan relax sikit walaupun luka nampak mcm lambat sikit nak sembuh. at least, bila sakit2 mcm ni, dia duduk rumah dan boleh nmpak sendiri keadaan di rumah macam mana. sebelum ni asyik sibuk je keja, tak cukup tido, penat so inilah masanya Pa nak rehat cukup2 sampaikan Pa kata dia dah puas tido dan puas berehat. ikutkan hati Pa, minggu kedua tu dia dah nak pegi keja....ish ish ish Pa ni la

currently, syukur Alhamdulillah kaki Pa semakin sembuh, aku tahu semangat Pa kuat, dia tahan segalanya. dan betullah janji Allah, Dia sentiasa ada masa kita perlukanNya dan kalau kita mohon kepadaNya

"Cukuplah Allah menjadi Penolong kami dan Allah adalah sebaik-baik Pelindung"
(Ali Imran,173)

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

hikmah

Dear ALLAH,

there must be something U want to give to us behind all these trials.
i hold on to this and i'm still waiting for that "something".

Alhamdulillah for every single thing You've grant us and we are very grateful.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Friday, October 22, 2010

random lagi

salam and hi to all,

dah lama rasanya tak conteng2 dalam blog ni. bukan apa, agak sibuk sikit lately ni. balik2 cuti aritu dikejutkan dengan berita sedih, pastu gerak ke konvo kakak dan balik2 ni, penat je rasa dan skarang ni pun tgh dalam mood sedih juga. takpalah, ALLAH tengah nak uji keluarga kitorang kot. nak tengok sejauh mana pergantungan padaNYA masa ni. aku harap ada hikmah disebalik apa yang berlaku ni.

lately ni, aku rasa aku banyak sangat reflects pasal benda2 di sekeliling aku, pasal diri aku sendiri etc. dan bila dah masuk mode tu, terus aku jadi mixed feelings- aku rasa down, rasa loser, rasa semangat, rasa gembira, semua adalah!

mungkin bila kita berfikir terlalu banyak sangat sampaikan semua benda2 negative dan positive akan bercampur. dan akan sebabkan kita cuba nak jadi defensive bila benda2 negative tu lebih banyak dari positive, sampailah buat kita rasa mixed feelings ni!
*syaitan semua tu*

entahlah, aku tak tahu apa yang ALLAH nak tunjukkan pada aku. menunggu dan terus menunggu je lah jawabnya~~
(bukan pasrah, tapi tawakal)

p/s: nak try balik la menulis apa2 yang patut
p/s 2: nak refresh semangat dan teruskan menghabiskan stok2 novel di rumah :P

Monday, October 11, 2010

such an emotional day i've had!

today was quite emotional and sad for me, for some reason that i won't and can't state here.
it's quite privacy

and for those reasons, it had successfully made me think very deeply about things around me (read:VERY DEEPLY).

i don't know why suddenly everything seems to be very fragile and sensitive to be handled.



yes, ALLAH is testing me right now. alhamdulillah



sekarang rasa serabut, letih, penat, exhausted, tension, malas dan
rasa mcm nak jerit!






AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

kuatkan semangat aku YA ALLAH!!!

........

there, that's it!

the 3 months practicum has ended, so what's next?
portfolio, debriefing, holidayssssssssss and the most awaited one, result!

lots of thing needs to be done before i can officially tido-rehat-makan-jalan2 etc.

hadoih, betapa cepatnya msa berlalu


oh oh

yesterday, amidst all the sadness and grieve for not having to meet the stdnts anymore,
i guess what i just know really tearing up my heart (ayt jiwang tk leh blah)

and now,

i leave it to You, ALLAH.
my all time saviour

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

what more can i say?syukur yaALLAH

ya ALLAH, sesungguhnya Engkau tahu segala-galanya ya ALLAH
come just right in time i needed it!

THANK YOU ALLAH
truly

L.O.S.E.R

have you ever feels that u are the real loser sometimes?

surprisingly (for you all, not for me definitely), i feel that ALL THE TIME!
hmmmmm...wonder why?
naaahh! if u really know me, then u'll know why :(

i don't know why suddenly i feel out of place
and i didn't belong here, to where i am now



that "something" keep bothering and buggering me





p/s: for this time being, i am FEELess (is there such word?)

i dun have a title for this

something just stroke my mind just now.
and i really feel bad,its not that "something" which make me feel bad, but me myself and i which causes it all ------>for that i am really bad person.
it is not the "bad" as in orang jahat or mobster,
but



amidst nice and good persons and friends i know,

I REALLY FEEL BAD!




was just strolling around friend's facebook and i can say that they really enjoys life to the max!
me? huh! don't bother asking, b'coz u wouldn't want to know the answer.


it is not that i didn't enjoy life as the rest do, but there is something stuck in my mind which prevent me from doing that.
(READ ME: everybody got their own way of enjoy life, aite?)






i am NOT a good friend who will text you 24/7 asking your whereabouts, whatyadoin, simply chitchatting, yada yada yada yada

Thursday, September 23, 2010

saya berwajah baru

boring pulak tengok layout blog ni
so, i've decided to change it.

nampak macam lively skit berbanding sebelum ni.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

pondering

salam and hi to all,

it has been almost 3 months and that means, our practicum gonna end very soon.
i don't know how to describe the feeling, whether i'm happy or sad.
happy coz i don't have to stay up late at night to do lesson plan and sad to leave those adorable kids and inviting environment the school accomodate us all the while we were there :) :)

some of my frens are busy counting the days, make plans of where to go after the practicum ended, completing all the lesson plans and appendices, write reflections

but I

i don't have the heart to do all these
i don't know where my mood has gone
one thing i know is that, i've lost interest to do anything!
i feel like i want to rest all day long and do what i want to do

last few days, heard GOOD news from my senior, their posting result is out!
although it is not my turn yet, but i'm happy for at last, after months of waiting and doing nothing, the result is out. alhamdulillah~~
they are going to start their real life as teacher and i'm counting the days to finish my 6 years of study. huwarrgghhh!!

got another half a year before i'm officially a graduand and a teacher :)
can't wait for that moment.
but i bet i will DEFINITELY misses the moment i have now- being with frens, no responsibilities on the shoulder, hanging out with frens, shopping etc.


oklah,
mata ni makin layulah
**oit, cepatlah habiskan blog tu, aku dah nagntuk nak tido dah ni.

till then,

salam and adios! :)


Monday, September 20, 2010

aku tak pernah faham

kenapakah manusia sangat suka take things for granted?








-_-;
Waking up I see that everything is okay
The first time in my life and now it's so great
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great

I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don't go away

Saturday, September 18, 2010

kini yang tinggal hanya.......

jangan mengharap kepada sesuatu yang tak pasti

aku pernah dengar kata2 ni dari seorang kawan lama
aku tak pasti lah pulak tentang apa tapi satu yang aku pasti, aku sentiasa ingat kata2 ni

kalau nak diikutkan, memang betul apa yang dikatakan tu
kalau dalam english pulak, ada proverbs yang bunyinya
"don't count on your chicken until they are hatched"
lebih kurang macam ni lah

kenapa ya?
mungkin kalau kita tak terlalu berharap sangat, kalau sesuatu tu tak terjadi, kekecewaan kita tak teruk sangat, kot
mungkin nak beri peluang kita lihat benda lain yang ada depan mata kita, kot
mungkin nak ajar kita supaya redha dan sentiasa terima qada dan qadar ALLAH, kot

tak tahu lah
aku rasa je..

tapi itu lah yang aku rasakan sekarang ni
"jangan terlalu mengharap kepada benda yang belum pasti terjadi"










tengah memotivasikan diri sendiri!
b strong, lina!

raya 2010

salam

my raya has been great this year!
and i was really lucky to have them as my family
as time goes by, i think the bond seems to grow tighther and stronger

dengan semua kerenah dan gelagat sepupu sepapat
sangat havoc dan kecoh bila berkumpul..hihihihi

oh, by the way,
this raya, for the first time
we had photoshoot...hehehe...ala, mcm org kawen buat outdoor photoshoot tu :P
all GBS-geng bising sokmo involved..hehe..seronokk sgt

just enjoy the pics :)







the gbs clan






till then,

salam and bye bye

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI
MAAF ZAHIR BATIN

Thursday, September 16, 2010

random #

apa-apa pun, aku tahu ALLAH ada perancangannya tersendiri
be strong, illina

asalkan keluarga dan kawan2 terbaik di sisi
datanglah ombak ganas dan lautan api
insyaALLAH aku cuba kuat demi mereka :)


La Tahzan Innallaha Ma'ana
"Dan Janganlah Kamu Bersikap Lemah Dan Janganlah Pula Kamu Bersedih Hati Padahal Kamulah Orang-orang Yang Paling Darjatnya Jika Kamu Orang-Orang Yang Beriman"

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

A picture is worth a thousand words

the sweetest of all



the rest, just enjoy the pics!


















p/s: gonna miss them very much

tak terucap dengan kata-kata

salam and hi to all,

*just a quick one*

time really really really flies very fast
tup tup dah nak habis Ramadhan
tup tup dah nak habis praktikum
tup tup dah nak habis belajar
tup tup dah nak kerja!

mesti akan rindu nak berbuka puasa ramai2 dengan kawan2
mesti akan rindu nak bersahur denga housemates
mesti akan rindu nak sembahyang tarawikh dengan housemates
mesti akan rindu budak2 kecik kat sekolah yang banyak cakap dan cute
mesti akan rindu nak masuk kelas dan mengajar
mesti akan rindu kerenah budak2 yang innocent
mesti akan rindu sekolah itu
mesti akan rindu zaman belajar
mesti akan rindu kawan2
mesti akan rindu semuanya!


jadi, masa yang ada ni
manfaatkan sebaik-baiknya
terlintas nak buat apa, buat aje, jgn fikir lagi


ALLAH, syukurku atas nikmatMu yang tak pernah surut buat diriku
selamatkan kami Ya ALLAH
bahagiakan kami Ya ALLAH
amankan kami Ya ALLAH
berjayakan kami Ya ALLAH
semoga termasuk dalam kalangan hambaMu yang tinggi darjatnya


terima kasih ALLAH
terima kasih ALLAH

:)

Monday, August 30, 2010

-_-;

i'm gonna miss the moments with my students

very much




how times flies


very fast :(

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

menghilang seketika

dah lama tak menulis pasal budak2 kecik kat sekolah.
nantilah, tak de masa lagi..
well, i kan "career woman" :P

(note the inverted comma there)

hahhaahhaha....lame sungguh :P



rindu perasaan nak menulis entri-entri yang ada filling (bukan feeling ye)
pelik jugak, dulu2 masa menulis tu, dapat ilham dari mana eh?

btw, masa untuk berubah!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

of Ramadhan and patience

dugaan bulan puasa ni banyak sangat.
bukan sahaja dugaan berlapar dan kena jaga nafsu, tapi yang penting dugaan nafsu amarah.
inilah yang sebenar-benarnya.

aku pernah terjumpa dalam satu blog ni,

"orang yang paling gagah perkasa diantara kamu semua ialah orang yang dapat mengalahkan nafsunya pada waktu marah dan orang yang tersabar adalah di antara kamu semua ialah orang yang suka memaafkan kesalahan orang lain padahal ia sebenarnya ada kuasa untuk membalasnya kembali "


aku rasa aku bukan orang yang gagah(dlm konteks di atas)dan orang yang sabar.
baru dah kena uji sikit dah macam-macam

dan
aku tak tau kenapa semenjak dua menjak ni senang je nak terasa dengan benda kecik2. senang je rasa nak marah semua. aishh :(

banyak sungguh dugaan ALLAH beri pada aku

aku harap at the end of the day,

sun will shine on me and i'll be happy again

no string attached

nevermind, u've never been in my shoes
then, u don't know how the feeling is

but, i'm sure, sooner or later,
you'll feel the same later
ALLAH kan adil



just let me be alone
i'm a lone ranger
just let me be cold
i'm a stone cold
just let me be me

I AM ME!!



thank you for everything

Sunday, August 8, 2010

:)

Smile tho' your heart is aching,
Smile Even though it's breaking,
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by,
If you Smile through your pain and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through
For you.

glee cast-charlie chaplin *smile*

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

friend-ship

friendship: there’s a time to be cautious and there's a time to follow your heart

i am not a good friend
nor that i am a good person
i am not a good person
nor that i am a perfect one

please don't judge me by what i did coz i might not turn out the person you used to think
please don't judge me by what i said coz sometimes it is only a sign of my immaturity

i couldn't live on my own and with that, i need friends to accompany me.
i am not capable of living alone and because of that, i need friends to be there when i'm alone

i know sometimes i've hurt people all around me
i know sometimes my selfishness annoyed many people
i know sometimes my childish makes people hates me
and i know that i am not perfect

i know that sometimes i can't afford to make people around me happy nor that i can offer them happiness


but one thing that i know,


i am trying to be a better person





befriends with me, will u?

ALLAH Maha Besar

came across this song and started to like it.
been played the same song for over and over and over again since 10 pm just now and it's already 3 am :P

by the way, the lyrics are really inspiring and besttt :) :)

Segala yang ada dalam hidupku
Kusedari semua milikMu
Ku hanya hambaMu yang berlumur dosa
Tunjukkan aku jalan lurusMu
Untuk menggapai SyurgaMu
Terangiku dalam setiap langkah hidupku


Kerana…
Kutahu…
Hanya Engkau…
Tuhanku…

Allahu Akbar
Allah Maha Besar
Ku memujaMu di setiap waktu


Hanyalah padaMu
Tempatku berteduh
Memohon redha dan ampunanMu
Tunjukkan aku jalan lurusMu
Untuk menggapai SyurgaMu
Terangiku dalam setiap langkah hidupku



edited from ungu-surgaMu

Sunday, July 25, 2010

~~Without a family, man, alone in the world, trembles with the cold~~

andre maurois

Monday, July 19, 2010

jadi cikgu kena banyak sabar

petang tadi masuk kelas 3 cempaka, aku sempat adakan "heart to heart" talk sekejap.
aku bagitahu mereka yang apabila aku membebel bukan bermaksud aku tak suka
dan apabila aku marah, tak bermaksud aku benci.

"saya sayang kamu, sebab tu saya marah"
"sebab saya nak bagi kamu pandai dan jadi orang yang berguna"

"saya sayang kamu, sebab tu saya membebel"
"mcm mak kamu juga, dia membebel sebab dia sayang kamu"

"kamu sayang saya tak?"
"sayaaaannnnnngggggggg"
sejuk hati dengar murid2 kata mcm tu.

"kalau kamu sayang saya, kamu boleh tolong saya tak?"
"boleh"
"boleh"
"boleh"
"tolong apa cikgu?"


"boleh tak kalau saya masuk kelas, kamu behave dan tak nakal2, jangan kacau kawan semua?"
"boleeeeeeehhhhhhh cikgu"

rasa sayu sangat bilamana murid2 beri reaksi yang positif macam tu.
rasa berbaloi aku tidur lewat malam untuk siapkan lesson plan
rasa berbaloi aku habiskan sejumlah wang untuk belikan barang2 untuk murid-murid
serius, rasa berbaloi sangat2.

rasanya inilah kepuasan seorang guru.

aku ada 2 orang pelajar yang nakal. bukan nakal, agak tidak bekerjasama di dalam kelas.

idris. aduh, budak ni sangatlah aktif dalam kelas. tak boleh duduk diam walaupun untuk seminit. mesti nak usik kawan, mesti nak jalan2 dalam kelas, mesti nak sembang2 dengan kawan.
tapi, kalau disuruh jawab soalan atau beri jawapan, pasti dia akan tunduk kepala dia. rapat-rapat ke bawah.

tadi, bila aku cakap baik-baik dengannya. dia angguk dan semyum. betul2 angguk. sebab dia selalu angguk sambil gelak-gelak, aku anggap anggukan tu tanda main-main. tapi tadi, aku tahu anggukan tu ikhlas.

sorang lagi, shahrizuan. nakal tapi nakal yang bermakna. dia mahukan perhatian aku rupanya. aku tak pernah sedar masa minggu awal di sekolah tu, bila dah beberapa hari di situ, di kelas tu, barulah aku tahu, dia nakal yang bermakna.
dia selalu saja tak bawa buku, dan selalu saja sorokkan kotak pensil kawan. bila aku pergi pada dia dan tanya elok2, dia mcm suka aku beri perhatian padanya. dan dia willingly akan buat apa yang aku suruh.

petang tadi, aku terjumpa dia dan aku bagitahu dia
"shahrizuan, cikgu nak minta tolong boleh tak?
"tolong? tolong apa cikgu? boleh boleh?
"esok kamu janganlah nakal dalam kelas. esok cikgu liyana nak tengok saya ajar kamu, kalau kamu nakal2, nanti habislah saya. jadi, esok kamu janganlah nakal dan usik kawan kamu. boleh?"


dia senyum. angguk banyak kali tanda setuju.
aku pegang bahunya, supaya anggukan itu lebih ikhlas lagi.

macam ni lah jadi cikgu. kena sabar hadapi kerenah budak2 yang macam-macam.
tapi, inilah jalan yang aku pilih.
insyaALLAH aku boleh lakukannya.

:)

p/s: aku rasa nak menangis je bila teringat balik T_T

Thursday, July 15, 2010

teaching practice lagi :P

salam and hi to all,

only ALLAH knows how exhausted i am today! although there's only one period lesson and no relief classes, but still the feeling of tired is there. i don't know whether it is the feeling itself which made me very tired throughout the day or the fact that it is only my childish mind. T_T

third day was definitely giving me a whole lot new experience of being a teacher. apart from delivering the lesson, i think the utmost important things that a teacher should master at is how to control the class and how to attract them towards the teaching in class.

and today, would be my second day of meeting my students[which would be happily taught by me :P so sarcastic] and yet the feeling of nervous was still there!! OH MY! why i need to feel nervous when they are only standard 3 students whose mature level is lower than me? yeah, i have answers for that.

fyi, the school that i got was very good in terms of the student's proficiency. even the penyelia petang already told both of us that most of the students are from english speaking family,meaning that our language level should be up to their standard lah! if not, they will only makes fun to both of us. aiyohhh...this really gave me headache. with my not-so-good communication skills and my quite clumsy attitude, i could really-really feel the burden!

what made me felt a bit down was when one of the students "sound" me with "teacher, you are wasting our time la" when i didn't manage to finish up the sentences which i want them to do as their homework. i was like !!!!!!$#%@%#^$%&*^&*^*@#!#
[only ALLAH knows how i feel inside], but luckily a question from a student able to make me feel a bit consoled. if not, i might ended up doing something i cannot imagine for that time being.

being in that class makes me remember the feeling of me being interviewed by 37 peoples whose eyes would never leave my face even for a second! which of course made me lagi nervous!

it's not that i'm complaining about the school or what, but i guess this is the reality that i have to face. and i would say that this would definitely be priceless experience for me since i didn't know where i am going to be posted soon. so, just bear and adapt yourself with the environment. don't let the situation overruled you!

on a good side, i'm able to show them my "garang" face which i myself find it a bit fake but it's ok since i got them controlled in my hand! muahahahahah...they are slightly afraid of me when i show that "garang" face and thus, half of the work is done! ALHAMDULILLAH :)
maybe after this, step by step, i'll start to show them the true me----> the "lembut" one, the "baik" one and the "tak kisah" one, the "sporting" one...heheheh :PPPPP.
[tadipun ade students ajak main kuiz, hampir2 saja mahu ikut kata mereka tapi bila memikirkan 2 minggu terawal ni tak boleh main sangat dengan mereka an perlu menunjukkan muka garang dan serius, jadi saya pasrah sahaja]

oklah, got to go,
loads and loads of work are wait for me very patiently [cemburu la tu saya boleh break sekejap from work :P]

till then,

salam and bye bye bye

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

2nd day at school: the verdict

PENAT

PENAT

PENAT

PENAT

PENAT

PENAT

PENAT

PENAT


aduish, ini bukan lagi jadi cikgu as in real lagi ni, baru je praktikum, aku dah hampir2 nak angkat bendera putih. sabar ye hatiku, lagi beberapa bulan saje lagi, lepas tu MERDEKAAAA!!

actually, it was not that i don't like being at the school or the fact that i don't like to teach, but i guess the exhausted part is the most unbearable for me. it was very tiring having to control a bunch of active homosapiens[let me just call them this, can ah? their enery level is higher that human, you know :P] especially when it involved lower primary school kids.

i really thanked ALLAH for He made it quite easy for me since i got year 3 students to teach English, if not, i'm deadddddddddddddddddddddddddd.

yet, i'm quite happy with myself since i'm able to show my "garang" face when i'm with them although there were some jokes cracked by them which almost made me want to burst into laugh! [aiyoh, cannot tahan la]. just like what the GPK had told us, don't ever show ur "lembut"ness or "baik"ness in front of them especially during 1st and 2nd week, if not they'll bully u! first impression is the utmost important. after that, slowly u'll be able to control anc tackle them step by step.

and yeah, I WILL DEFINITELY FOLLOW THAT, PUAN! muahahahahaha....

another thing which makes me almost got the shock of the day is when they asked me whether i have facebook account! i was like, ya ALLAH, they are really 21st century kids la! so advanced with technology. but, i ended up asking them to googled my name and search if by themselves, if they're able to find it, then just add me [tapi belum tentu lagi sya nak approve la kot, for this time being ..hehe :P]

adeyh, just bear with my practicum story ye my dear readers[bajet mcm ramai org bace "P], ini je yg terdaya untuk dicoretkan buat masa ni.

oklah, i guess i need to continue with my work. need to finish it quick!
tak boleh procrastinate lagi!

byeeeee

p/s: baru hari kedua dah rasa upside down.

good evening teacher illi! :P

salam and hi to all,

yes, the title says it all. so, just bear with me if i only brag about how my first day at school was. i know it might sound boring to some of you. heh~~

i don't know how to describe the feeling upon being greeted [the one which i put as the title]by the students form the class which i happened to observed today. i guess it was a mixture of different feelings [can't believe that i'm gonna be a teacher soon, yesss sooonerrrr :P]
and i will still keep on praying hard that my practicum will be a great start for me as a teacher. AMEEN. INSYAALLAH :):)

hari pertama di sekolah, walaupun penat tapi rasanya aku suka kot perasaan penat macam ni. lebih pada perasaan puas lah. kenapa? entahlah, indescribable lah benda-benda macam ni...hehehe.

first impression tu sangat penting dan kadang2 aku rasa aku tersilap menilai certain things. the same goes to the school. mungkin aku rasakan tekanan high expectation dari pihak sekolah and thus, bring myself a bit down. but, selagi kita tak kenal, selagi tu kita tak akan cinta. so, get to know it first before simply making any assumptions.

cikgu2 sangat ok dan friendly dan baik dan helpful dan understanding. GB sangat bermotivasi[kaunselor katakan]. penyelia petang dah selamat ditackle hatinya setelah kitorang set quite a good record for her. penolong kanan yang baik dan friendly. overall, a very condusive working environment. insyaALLAH sentiasa bersangka baik dengan ALLAH dan orang2 sekeliling :)

oklah, nak sambung buat lesson plan [curi msa sebentar]
till then,

salam and bye bye bye


p/s: hoping for a BETTER tomorrow ^_^

Monday, July 12, 2010

the real meaning of friendship

Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me!
when you're not strong
and I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
for it won't be long
'till I'm gonna need
somebody to lean on

If
there is a load!
you have to bare
that you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
if you just call me

Call me if you need a friend
Call me any time of day

taken from the lyrics "lean on me" from "glee cast"

i really mean it, friends!
just LEAN ON ME :)

praktikal ke praktikum?

salam and hi to all,

today will be my first day of practical in school and i'm quite nervous bout dat. well, i guess it's a common thing among all the cohort 4 comrades. heh~ honestly, i don't know what to expect and i just hope for the best! AMEEN.

to tell the truth, i am not really happy with my practical, on certain reasons[just let me keep it to myself] but i guess ALLAH knows all. there must be reasons why He gave me this trial and i just want to accept anything that He gave to me. i'm positive that at the end of the day, i will see what is the "thing" He want me to learn.

hahahahaha...guess what, i got the afternoon session school and i bet the experience would be really different from what i have before. i've never been to school with 2 sessions nor i've ever experienced it. well, just wait and see :)

ok lah,
got to go and till then,

salam and bye bye bye

p/s: semua kawan2 saya sudah tido kerana mereka mahu bangun awal untuk ke sekolah esok pagi, tetapi saya masih menghadap lappy kerana saya sekolah petang T_T

Sunday, July 4, 2010

i ain't perfect

i'm not perfect nor that i'm kind
some people will hate me just because i'm me
and sometimes, i hate myself too!

i don't have the reason why i am saying all these craps(or maybe this isn't a crap)

i really feel alone right now and spill myself here comforts me a bit.
This is one of the use of blog which i favor the most.

emotions breakdown :(

And for that, i am truly sorry T_T

Saturday, July 3, 2010

alone

salam and hi to all,

rasanya semenjak 2 menjak ni life just doesn't mean for me. entahlah .aku tak tau sebab apa.

i feel alone.

T_T

Thursday, July 1, 2010

all praise is due to ALLAH :)

salam and hi to all,

dah lama jugak rasanya tak update blog ni, sejak last aku berblogging di rumah. sedihnya rasa tinggalkan umah T_T;
[bukan apa, bila duduk KL sorang2 ni, rasa cm pilu+sayu+sedih, kdg2 rasa mcm keseorangan je dekat tempat org, family jauh dah, kawan2 jelah yang ada]
[tambah sedih lagi bila teringat dekat umah, ada mak ayah, adik bradik kita, semuanyalah]


tu belum pergi oversea lagi tu, kalao pegi[moga2 satu hari nanti tercapai] mcm manalah gamaknya keadaan aku?? hmmmm....alamatnya mati sebab rindu kot :P
aduihhh...takpalah, kalau tak, bila masa pulak orang kata pergi berjihad untuk belajar, ye dak?tengah sedapkan ati sendiri sebenarnya.

oklah, back to topic2 yg tak bosan.

owyeah, hari ni ada briefing pasal teaching practice.yang akan berjalan mulai dari 12 julai sampai 1 oktober 2010. dan segala teka-teki yang bermain-main di minda kitorang akhirnya terjawab sudah! dapat sekolah mana dan siapa supervisor pun dah diketahui. berdebar jugaklah sebelum boleh nak tahu sekolah tu. kecut perut, bukan apa, takut2 dapat sekolah yang agak jauh dari rumah dan supervisor yang mcm garang skit, aduishh mcm mana nak tahan selama 3 bulan+++ tu?

tpi ALHAMDULILLAH syukur nikmat,sekolah yang aku dapat tu dekat jugak dengan rumah, kira2 15 minit perjalanan dan ALHAMDULILLAH sekali lagi sebab supervisor aku pun ok. syukur sangat2 YA ALLAH, atas kurniaanMu! tak dapat nak kata apa lagi. i just hope for the best, at least, for this time being. pegang pada apa yang ma selalu cakap, "think positive ".

kesian jugak dekat kawan2 aku yang dapat sekolah jauh dari rumah, tapi apakan daya, terpaksalah terima apa2 jua keputusan yang telah dibuat. takpalah kawan2 ku sekalian, "be positive" k. just leave it to ALLAH, may He grant u with ease! ameen :):)

sekejap saje masa berlalu rasanya, tambah2 bila dah bergelar final year student ni. maybe aku agak jauh terkebelakang skit kalau nak dibandingkan dengan kawan2 aku yang lain, semuanya bakal bergelar graduan dan hanya tunggu konvo sja dan ade jugak yang dah masuk alam pekerjaan. yelah, maunya tak lama, 6 tahun kot belajar nak jadi cikgu, tu pun, kalau dulu2 masa zaman tak tahu apa2 lagi, "alah, cikgu je". hehehe...huishhh...lama tu memang lah lama, tapi bila difikir-fikir balik, takpalah, at least dah diguarantee dengan kerja dan tak payah fikir2 nak bayar duit PTPTN ke apa ke, cuma peru bersabar setahun je lagi sementara nak tunggu habis, takut pulak lepas ni malas nak kerja, sebab still nak duduk dalam alam belajar dan bergelar student. bukan apa, tak puas lagi dimanja2kan..hehe :P

oklah, nak out dulu ye.

till then,
salam and bye bye bye

Friday, June 25, 2010

hakuna matata

salam and hi to all,

well, i've heard about these two words for quite sometimes and it appeared again in my mind just now that i googled to find what's the meaning of it. and surprisingly, i found this song by elton john for the movie THE LION KING. i'm not a fan of cartoons actually[except for when i was young], but i like listening to this song. it's short and sweet :P

and since it was quite sometime that i didn't share any lyrics in the blog, thus i present you "HAKUNA MATATA". ohh! by the way, these 2 words from Swahili means "no worries for the rest of your days", and it seems like they suits me well, at this certain point :)

********************************************************
Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze
It means no worries for the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!

Hakuna Matata?
Yeah. It's our motto!
What's a motto?
Nothing. What's a-motto with you?
Those two words will solve all your problems

That's right. Take Pumbaa here
Why, when he was a young warthog...
When I was a young wart hog
Very nice
Thanks


He found his aroma lacked a certain appeal
He could clear the savannah after every meal

I'm a sensitive soul though I seem thick-skinned
And it hurt that my friends never stood downwind
And oh, the shame He was ashamed
Thought of changin' my name What's in a name?
And I got downhearted How did ya feel?
Everytime that I...

Hey! Pumbaa! Not in front of the kids!
Oh. Sorry


Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze
It means no worries for the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!

Hakuna Matata! Hakuna matata!
Hakuna Matata! Hakuna matata!
Hakuna Matata! Hakuna matata!
Hakuna Matata! Hakuna--

It means no worries for the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!

I say "Hakuna"
I say "Matata"

*********************************************************
i used to watch this story once, but unfortunately i don't remember when was it, and i've forgot the storyline too! :(
and i guess, i need to find it nad watch it all over again, so that the meaning of the song used in this particular scene would not obscure me..hehe

till then,

bye all!

keluarga: part 3

salam and hi to all,

sekarang ni aku rasa mcm seronok pulak dengar@ingat balik kisah2 zaman dulu2, tak kisahla cerita ma atau pa, ataupun cerita kami 5 orang adik beradik. entahlah, rasa mcm rindu nak balik zaman dulu2, nak gaduh2 mcm dulu2...hehehehe...betullah orang kata, masa kecik gaduh2 dulu, nanti dah besar, hubungan akan jadi rapat n erat. aku pun tak tahu betul ke tak, orng kata :P

aku ingat lagi masa kecik2 dulu, oleh sebab jarak umur kami adik beradik tak jauh mana, kalau ma pergi mana2 tu, panjanglah barisan di belakang dia. mcm train pun ada..hehe...mana taknya, sorang pergi, semua nak ikut. cnth, kalau pergi bank nak buat apa2, tunggu giliran, pastu bila nama ma dipanggil sorang, akan habis semua anak2 nak ikut pergi jugak, yang besar ke yang kecik pun nak tgk jugak kerani bank tu buat apa dekat ma...tinggi pun, jinjatlah kaki tu! kadang2 sampai bergaduh sebab semua berebut nak duduk dekat ma, supaya nampak jelas.

pastu, ingat lagi, kalau pergi koperasi perwaja[koperasi ni khas untuk kakitangan perwaja, die tak yah byr sebab dia akan potong duit rebat atau gaji pekerja, so tak perlu bwk duit]apalagi, kitorang akan amik 2 troli, satu untuk ma letak barang keperluan rumah@groceries dan satu lagi untuk kami adik bradik, bukan apa, nak letak barang2 yang kami nak beli, sebab kalau letak sekali dengan ma, nanti penuh troli, pastu takut jugak kalau2 ma jeling barang2 yang kita ambil..heheh

kesudahannya, banyaklah barang2 tak sepatutnya ada dlm list, dibeli. dulu, amik je nak yang mana, letak dalam troli...kalau tak bagi amik, nanti merajuk. tapi, dulu2 barang2 murah2 dan yang kami amik pun kecik2 jugak, zaman dedolu kan budak kecik lagi, brg2 pun kecik2 la :P jadi ma tak marah mana sangat pun.
stationery tu dari sekecil2 pemadam sampai ke sebesar2 buku, akan dimasukkan dlm troli, pantang jumpa yang comel dan cantik, huh! terus rembat. almaklumlah, bukan keluar duit sendiri.

dan kalau makanan tu, tak payah katalah, beli mcm stok nak simpan untuk musim kebuluran..punyalah banyak, padahal semua perempuan je, tapi perut mengalahkan saiz budak laki! dan bila sorang beli, maksudnya kena beli untuk semualah! alasan kalau ma tak bagi beli, ma tak sayanglah, ma pilih kasihlah...hahahah...mcm2 kerenah dulu2

dan yang paling aku ingat, time nak bayr[dia akan jumlahkan semua harga berapa untuk nak tolak dari gaji pa] tu semua orang pakat lari...bukan apa, malu beb! orang lain tengok2 je, pastu senyum2...heheh...
tambah kalau ada orang ramai beratur belakang, hah! lagilah malu tgk akak tu dok scan harga satu satu...segan sebab beli banyak satu, bila tgok dorang beli satu atau dua barang je dan satu lagi segan sebab kitorang membeli mcm nak pergi berperang atau ibarat rumah dalam hutan dan jarang pergi bandar :P :P :P heheheheheh

ma pulak, oleh sebab kami adik beradik kecik2 lagi masa tu, in fact adik2 aku masih lagi pakai pampers n minum susu, dia akan borong pampers n susu banyak2. kalau kat bilik stor tu, memang penuhlah dengan stok2 pampers nawal n mahasin. dan kat jemuran tu tak sah kalau takde lampin atau baju budak kecik!

kalau dulu jugak, nak pergi mana2 mesti kena ajak semua, yelah semuanya kecik2 lagi, nak tinggal kat rumah takut2 nanti ada apa2 benda terjadi pulak, jadinya angkutlah kami kelima2 beradik dalam kereta. mujur masa tu kecik2 lagi, dan mahasin duduk dengan ma kat depan, jadi muatlah semua orang pergi :)masa tu masa "kegemilangan perwaja" lagi...masa eric chia jadi big boss, pekerja2 akan diberi kereta dan handset sorang satu. dan masa tu, pa dapat kereta company, proton iswara putih plat number WDA 9540...heheh[ingat lagi aku] zaman dulu2, kalau ada handset tu dah dikira hebatlah! sampaikan handset yang pa dapat dari company, agak besar jugak jenama motorola, aku pun tak berani pegang, sebab takut rosak :P :P :P

rumah kitorang memang bersepah! sangat. dinding kat rumah tu penuh dengan contengan, tapi oleh sebab masa tu kecik lagi, jadi contengan tu setakat ketinggian kami je lah! taklah sampai atas..hehehe....pastu pastu kalau kawan pa mai dekat umah , malu jugak sebab tak proper sangat keadaan dalam rumah. in fact, kerusi duduk pun tak ada. anak2 kecik lagi, tak sesuai sangat!



wah! banyaknya cerita2 lama yang aku kenangkan kat sini. nantilah pulak sambung part lain..hehe...banyak lagi benda nak kongsi ni, tpi lain kali je lah!

till then,

salam and bye bye bye

Thursday, June 24, 2010

tak tahu nak letak tajuk apa

salam and hi to all,

cuti dah semakin ke penghujungnya. dan start sem baru ni, akan startlah praktikum aku. sedar tak sedar, dah jadi final year student dah pun..huh! cepat sangat masa berlalu. dan umur pun dah meningkat naik, syukur aku jadi semakin matang. harap2 takdelah perangai childish lagi :)

berdebar2 jugak rasanya nak bukak sem baru ni, sebab kena pergi sekolah. bukan apa, aku takut tak boleh sesuaikan diri di sekolah nanti. tapi, apa2 pun, mcm ma kata "tawakal saje". insyaALLAH Dia permudahkan urusan aku.

mental aku kena kuat, sebab bukan senang nak hadapi cabaran2 baru kat sekolah nanti. lain orang, lain ragamnya, lain sekolah, lain caranya. dan kalau boleh, aku nak jadikan tempoh 3 bulan++ ni satu tempoh yang seronok dan tak akan dilupakan. harap2 nanti aku akan sentiasa je rasa nak pergi sekolah, sebab tu lah perkara penting kena buat adalah BINA HUBUNGAN BAIK DENGAN PIHAK PENTADBIRAN~~~semualah---> guru besar, cikgu cikgi, kerani, ofisboi, mak cik cleaner, mak cik kantin, pak guard etc..bak kata ma "buat baik dengan semua, bukan setakat cikgu2 saje, yang kakitangan bawah pun jgn dilupa, sebab nanti bila2 kita akan minta tolong dorang jugak".

ok, ma. na akan ingat ni..huhuh :)

biasalah mula2 ni, mungkin akan rasa a bit awkward skit tapi insyaALLAH lama2 tu bolehlah. harap2 YA ALLAH

aku pun tak tahulah samaada cuti aku kali ni betul2 bermakna atau tak. sebabnya apa yang aku cadang nak buat awal2 dulu tu, mcm tak jadi je :(
semuanya hangat hangat tahi kucing je..hmmmmm...
in fact, banyak lagi kot novel2 aku beli yang belum sempat dibaca. bukan apa, sekarang ni momentum nak start baca tu mcm lambat skit je. yelah, sekejap2 keluar, sekejap2 keluar, kalau tak pun bersembang...huhuhuhuh

tpi bila lagi nak dapat peluang mcm ni kan?
so, sementara ada masa ni, kita sembang puas2...wakakakak

oklah, rasanya aku nak pen down stakat ni dulu.
till then,

salam and bye bye bye

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

keluarga:part 2

salam and hi to all,

it's been a few days since i posted my 2 entries in a day due to an overexcitement[is there such words? hehe..i dunno, just type it]! whoaaa...that's such an achievement for me[pat on my shoulder]

i was eating just now and had a small conversation between the family members. and what's interesting is that the suject of the discussion of the day~~~all are mainly about my parent's childhood~~~ and i feel that it was very good until i made up my mind to share it in my blog :))and since i was like telling my family stories, so why not i put his, kan?

most of the stories were from my father's~~~since we were talking about guys nowadays behave in a certain manner[mind you, it's not about the negative one, it's the good one i tell ya! things which made us women laughed and laughed and remembered it :P]

actually, this is not my first time hearing my father's story about his teen years, early adulthood and childhood too! and in fact, some of the things that i just heard, honestly, was not really a shock for me. but, there are things which he keep it to himself until today that made it very shocking to me, especially!

well, father is a kampung boy, raised in kuala terengganu. he spent most of his childhood and teen years there except when he went to further his study at UKM. he once told me that he used to cycled from his house[my tokki's house] to kuala terengganu, the town, only to deliver chicken's eggs to the buyers.and in fact, some of the location of certain building was still there, except for the renovation they undergo. he was quite naughty but i can tell you, he is dependent. one can depend on him since he will do what is being required especially if it comes from the family members itself. my tokki is a chicken supplier at that time, thus almost all the delivery work was done by my father.

he was actually the second son out of three siblings. but, since his brother[my uncle] went to UK to study, so he had to bear all the responsibility on his shoulder. it was quite hard, life at that time although the family was quite well in terms of money. father said that my tokki won't let his children to spend money on unnecessary things, but if it were for food, then it's OK.

he also told me that whenever his brother is coming home, he will bought many things for them~~shirts, pants, sweaters, anything that he bought from the UK. and wearing something which is made in overseas at that time, was heaven!when he furthered his study at UKM, things were quite different. well, a man is still a man. hahahah...they're lazy A LOT! i tell you. even my father admit it himself! :D

once, during the good old study days, he and his friends even put packets of maggi in a pail together with hot water and eat it! they didn't use spoon, instead they use a laddle, because according to them, spoon wont scope as much as they want but laddle can! i was like WHOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!hahahahahahha...almost can't believe it myself!

and he said that it is a normal thing for guys to not wash their jeans, and for him, having to wash it every 6 months or more is good enough. he had friends who never wash it until they can't wear it anymore! [can u imagine the stink??]
he also used to have a girlfriend during his UKM years. and now she's a wife to somebody, DO of cameron highlands and even entittled "datin":D
and her husband is one of father's friend! hahaha...
[ma gelak2 saje time ni :P]

hmmmm.....if i were to continue it, then it won't be a neverending story. so, i guess, i'll stop here and will continue later. but, to an extent, it was very interesting having to listened to my father's story. a nice one!and i'll write about mother's later.

till then,

salam and bye bye bye

[my father was a bit chinese look, and his face when he was in his early adulthood was like korean actor]hehehehe...kalo die dapat tahu ni, KEMBANGLAH semangkuk...:P :P :P

Friday, June 18, 2010

keluarga: part 1

salam and hi to all,

hahhaha...tak sampai beberapa jam pun lagi aku dah ada idea nak tulis2 dekat blog ni. bukan apa seronoklah rasa bila baca apa yang kita tulis kt blog sendiri [hehehe...kantoi baca blog sendiri dan senyum sorang2 :P]

sebenarnya dah lama aku nak citer2 pasal benda ni, tapi sebab dah selalu buang masa je, sampaikan benda2 ni pun dah lama terabai, punyalah malas nak update blog, sampaikan ada satu ketika tu aku kena tulis reminder dlm hanset nak tulis pasal apa kat blog ..hehe :P [masa tengah semangat macam ni lah!]

aku bukan nak citer apa2 pun, just nak citer2 pasal adik bradik je...huhuh...tetiba rasa mcm best je klo citer pasal orang2 yang terdekat dengan kita, kan? rasa mcm "huishh...banyaknya idea nak tulis"...haaaaaaaa...mcm ni lah keadaannya!

aku pernah sembang2 ngan sepupu aku, najwa a.k.a. wa.die pernah cakap kat aku alangkah seronoknya ada adik beradik perempuan semua, boleh wat kawan2, walaupun dengan adik bradik sendri[wa satu2nya perempuan dalam adik bradik die, yang lain semua lelaki]
alhamdulillah! bagi aku, syukurrrrrr sangat sebab dikurniakan adik bradik yang sama macam aku, yang boleh aku jadikan pengganti kawan2 masa cuti, yang boleh kongsi citer apa2 dan kadang2 boleh ajak hang out sama2..huhuh...seronok weyh!

kitorang adik bradik sebelum ni, masa masing2 duduk jauh dari umah dan umur pun muda lagi, tak matang sangat, taklah serapat macam sekarang. maksud aku, dulu rapat jugak, tapi tak serapat sekarang kot. sebab masing2 pun dah besar dan matang, so perangai dan kelakuan pun seiring. dan jadi lagi GILA-GILA! dan semakin rapat.
sampaikan pernah ada orang tegur kami tanya kembar ke adik bradik? sebab muka sama je semua, alah mcam omputih kate copy and paste tu...tpi aku pelik jugaklah, kat mana tah yang sama tu?? aku tengok mcm semua muka lainnn je...hmmmm

tapi tu lah, bila dah besar ni, semua benda kalo boleh rasa nak ajak adik bradik turut serta, rasa rugi kalo dorang tak ikut, dan kalo sorang tak ada tu, rasa mcam sunyi je rumah. kadang2, selalu jugak kami adik bradik berkumpul kat dapur ramai2 tengah2 malam, bukak balik nostalgia citer zaman bebudak hingusan dulu2...dan gelak kat diri sendiri kuat2..dan ia berlarutan sampai ke pagi, kadang2 siap buat maggi lagi sebab lapar, sambil sembang, sambil makan...hehehe...

selalunya bila aku balik, lani balik, coy balik~pendek kata, semua ada kat rumah, kitorang akan "pau" pa n ma g makan kat luar, pastu tangkap2 gambar, kekadang ma n pa layan jugak tangkap menangkap ni...dan kami semua akan order makanan sama, feveret semua tu, grilled chicken with black pepper sauce. pernah satu hari tu, kitorang pakai baju sama semua 5 beradik...heheheh...orang2 kat tepi pun dah start pandang2 dan tegur2 lagi "bli bju sekali ke?", "wah!!pakai baju sama lah!" kitorang pun senyum je lah..hehe

macam2 perangai kami adik bradik ni. setiap seorang ada "fiil"[sebut dlm bahasa melayu, pe'el] masing2...lagi gamat kalau ada coy, uishhh memang perangai GILER2 sungguh! tambah dengan nawal...hahahah....dorang ni, kalo ajak bergaduh nombor 1, tpi kalo baik tu, baikkkkk sangat2...memang riuh lah meja tu! snap sana, snap sini :D

tapi kesian pa, selalu terpinggir je, yelah sorang2 je kumbang dalam banyak2 bunga, tapi kumbang ma tu..hehe :P..kadang2 pa pun sama naik jugak, wat lawak lah, siap reka citer hantu yang mula2 buat kita takut, last2 tertipuuuuuuuuuuuuuu....tulah pa ..huhhuhuh...ma senyummmmm je :):)



sebenarnya nak cite bnyak lagi ni, tpi nanti-nantilah, penat dah, nak tidor dulu.

till then,

salam and bye bye bye


GOOD NIGHT!

saya berwajah baru

salam and hi to all,

dah TERLALU lama giler tak update blog ni, sampaikan tak sedar blogspot dah ade templates baru. agak2nya kalau lagi lama tak bukak blog ni, entah2 address blog sendiri pun tak ingat dah..ish2[geleng kepala berkali2 kat diri sendiri]

sebenarnya banyak giler benda yang aku selalu nak tulis dalam blog ni, tapi apakan daya sifat MALAS tu lebih banyak dari apa yang aku nak tulis sgt! hmmmm...mcm ni lah, bila dah mai perasaan malas tu, memang tak leh buat apa2 -.-;
habis semua resolutions yg ingat nak buat msa cuti ni, HAMPAGASSSS jee... semua tak MENJADI! nak menjadi mcm mana kalo dah asyik dlm fikiran tu kate "esok je la buat, esok je la buat" lama2 tak terbuat....haishhh mcm manalah nak maju?

banyak juga benda2 berlaku sepanjang cuti ni...hmmmm...ade yang best, ade yang tak best..tpi apapun, HAPPY jer aku rasa sepanjang cuti sem kali ni :):):):)
tapi setakat happy2 benda kecik2 je la...mcm selalu aku ckp tu, kdg2 kita tak perlukan benda yang besar nak buatkan kita rasa gembira, asalkan kita buat perkara yang kita suka dan orang lain suka, pun dah cukup untuk gembirakan dan puaskan hati kita :)

dan banyak juga perubahan pada diri ini..hehe...pertama sekali dah tentulah berat badan yang melampau2 naik seperti tayar yang dipam2..dan perubahan lain? jeng jeng jeng...nantikannnn... v^.^

baru2 ni balik kampung kat terengganu, kesian tgk tok aku yang nampak dah dia tak berapa nak sihat sgt, tak bergerak banyak.orang kata "balik budak", mcm tu la...tpi tkpe, ape2pun, aku akan cuba tolong stakat yg terdaya...tpi aku gembira sebab tok still kenal kitorang lagi, walaupun kdg2 selalu gak tersalah nama :P
oleh sebab aku ni tak berapa fhm sgt loghat tengganu tok yang agak pekat, kadang2 apa yang tok ckp tu aku anggukkan je, walaupun kadang2 die dok tunggu2 jugak aku jawab apa yang dia tanya..hehe..[mane aku tau tok tanye aku, aku ingat die dok ckp2 ngan aku :P] so moral of the story, BELAJAR2 LAH BAHASA NEGERI KELAHIRAN SENDIRI, JANGAN LEBIH2 KAN LOGHAT TEMPAT TINGGAL ANDA
ni tak, loghat kedah pekat sikit pun boleh fhm, tpi klo loghat tengganu, HAMPAGAS sungguh

gumbira hati ni boleh balik tengganu jumpa sepupu2...huhuh...seronokkkkk sgt2! klo boleh rasa mcm tak mau balik umah dah, tpi nak buat mcm mana, ada kerja yg perlu diselesaikan T_T

setiap kali aku balik kampung, memang seriusly rasa dihargai sangat2!
mana taknya, sampai2 je kat depan umah tok, pa akan bunyikan hon kete kuat2 sampai sume orang akan kuar ke pintu, then ramai2 akan jemput msuk dan amik barang2..
makanan tu toksah dok ckp la, sentiasa ada je kat atas meja..kadang2 tu dah siap2 bli satay nak bakar ramai2...BBQ la, stimbot la, kadang2 ma buat mee bandung n puding laici...yang paling best skali bila skali skala cunah n ma akan bergabung tenaga masak nasi bukhari[selalunya hari raya aidilfitri atau raya korban la]...

uisshhhh msa ni memang rasa meriah giler2...gelak2 ketawa, makan2, gelak lagi, makan lagi, sembang tu tak payah ckplah! klo boleh dari sekecik2 benda hingga ke sebesar2 benda ma nak cite kat cunah...bestfren katekan..huhuh..

apapun, aku bersyukur sangat dilahirkan dalam keluarga ni. sangat2 bersyukur! alhmadulillah :)

atas nikmat bahagia yang Kau kurniakan
atas nikmat sayang yang Kau kurniakan
atas nikmat akrab yang Kau kurniakan
atas nikmat kesihatan yang Kau kurniakan

atas nikmat SEGALA-GALANYA YA ALLAH,
syukur syukur syukur


dah panjang lah pulak post kali ni, hehe
tadi memula mcm dah takde idea, pastu tiba2 idea mencurah2 pulak. takpe, bukan slalu pun entri panjang mcm ni, kan? :P

oklah...
till then,

salam and bye bye bye bye




I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MY FAMILY

Thursday, May 27, 2010

random 3

salam and hi to all,

my holidays had reached couple of weeks and it seemed like it was just yesterday since it started. hmmmm....feels quite bored but at the same time,feel like i wanna more holidays to come! huh, complicated sungguh!! so do my feelings. i don't know why the feeling suddenly. biarkan, let it be. jgn dilayan sgt benda2 mcm ni.

this is my third entry with the same title, random, and their only differences is the numbering------>simply because i don't know what to write.huh! [idea sudahhh terbang weyh!]

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owh yes, i've been doing some bloghopping or blogwalking or whatever u call it, and came across this one blog. it attracted me so much that i feel like addicted to read every posts and every single thing the writer writes. it was such a great writing to tell ya!
i hope i can be like her one day. insyaALLAH.
[i've always wanted to have my own book and i really2 hope i can make this dream comes true one day, insyaALLAH:)]----->i guess this is the only reason why i need to always update my blog, to sharpen my writing skills, yang tak seberapa ni

not much things happened lately and there's nothing excited to be talked and shared about. it was just normal routines, being at home and do some basic things when u r at home. and so far, my resolutions for the holidays have not been completed yet, just yet.
rajin rajin rajinkan lah diri anda, illina!!

i guess that's all for now.
got to go. emergency
till then,

salam and bye bye bye

Friday, May 21, 2010

random 2

salam and hi to all,

haih! cuti kali ni rasa boring la pulak. bukan apa, tak tahu apa nak buat..semuanya benda yang basic dan selalu buat kalau cuti, mcm menghabiskan stok2 buku2+novel yang bertimbun2, keluar jalan2, tido, makan, operasi kemas rumah, masak dan jadi penonton setia TV. boring lah buat benda yang sama jeee...huh!

tapi, takpalah at least ada juga aku buat sesuatu daripada duduk saja je..dan aku ingat cuti ni nak buat something yang lain daripada apa yang aku buat masa cuti sebelum2 ni. nak kerja dah tak dapat permission dah, so kena cari jalan lain lah nak sibukkan diri dan nak aktifkan diri, supaya tak ternak lemak banyak sangat(buka cuti malulah kalao ada kawan2 tegur :P)

hmmmm....jap jap nak listkan kat sinilah nak buat apa (cuti dah 2 minggu tpi bru terfikir nak buat apa?? ish ish ish teruk betullah anak dara cik wan ni :P)

1. jogging setiap pagi(semoga istiqamah...hehe :P)
2. habiskan operasi2 kemas rumah yang telah ditetapkan oleh ma
3. tengok CSI:NY season baru, dan kalao boleh tengok berkali2 tanpa jemu (criminal minsd pun) :P
4. hbiskan novel2 yang bertimbun2 dan buku2 yang bertimbun2
5. startkan projek penulisan aku *****teeeeeeeettttt****
6. jalan2 ngan siblings n sepupu(anywehere)

hahahah....tu je kot yang aku boleh terfikirkan buat masa ni. huh! berpelkuh jugaklah nak berfikir tu(exaggerate skit kt sini :P)

kawan2 semua doakan supaya saya selalu istiqamah dan bersungguh ye menghabiskan apa yang saya dah mulakan. semoga saya kuat semangat dan at the end or the day, semuanya terlaksana.


ameen ameen ameen


till then,
salam and bye bye bye
:) :) :)

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

random

salam and hi to all,

sejak dua menjak cuti panjang nih, otak pun mcm dah tak produktif sangat. rasa malas memanjang. nak buat kerja apa2 pun rasa malas, rasa mcm nak duduk saja tak buat apa2. yelah, mana taknya, nak makan rasa malas, nak mandi pun rasa malas, even nak tengok TV pun rasa malas nak bukak(walaupun guna remote je)...haaaaaaaaaaaaaa...ni memang betul2 PEMALAS ni! ish2..

aku pun tak tahu kenapa. virus apa yang melanda pun aku tak tahu. pastu semenjak dua tiga hari ni pun, rasa mcm nak maraaaaaahhh je. pantang silap sikit, mulalah aku rasa cam eeeiiii...geram2...tak tahu kenapa! aku bukan suka sangat nk marah tak tentu pasal ni, sebab tu aku lebih suka diam. kalau bercakap, nanti buat orang sakit hati je, leih baik aku diam dan simpan amarah tu, nanti dah sejuk barulah aku tegur orang. tapi rasa mcm bersalah pulak bila orng tegur kita tak jwab, wat derk je...huh!!

MASALAH MASALAH :(

adoihhhhhhhhhhhh.

aku rasa kena ada perubahan lah dalam diri ni.kena paksa diri.

ok. esoklah aku start.
heheh :P


tu je kott...
actually takde idea sgt pun nak rambles kat sini, sje cri point nak updatekan blog. huhuh.

till then,

salam and bye bye bye

Monday, May 17, 2010

terima kasih ma & pa, for being my greatest teachers ever!

salam and hi to all,

dah lama sangat2 tak bukak blog, emails n facebook.bukan apa, MALAS giler rasanya nak menghadap computer. mungkin sebab sebelum ni, masa tak cuti panjang lagi ni. SETIAP HARI SETIAP MASA kot bukak semua2 tu. dan skrng ni, rasa mcm malas nak buat apa2. huh!

oh ye. semalam hari guru. sebagai bakal cikgu, aku pun dah start ada rasa bangga sikit bakal pegang title ni. bukan apa, rasa mcm kerja sebagai cikgu ni tersangatlah best dan mulia. once u are in this field, u'll know it!

dulu aku jadi student dan skarang, aku bakal punyai student2 sendiri. be it budak skolah rendah je , tak kisahlah semua tu. yang penting niat dan pekerjaan tu sendiri. betullah orang kata, kita merancang, ALLAH juga merancang, tapi perancanganNYA sejuta kali lebih baik dari perancangan kita :)

dan aku sangat amat ingin berterima kasih pada parentku sebab "paksa" aku terima tawaran cikgu ni. kalo bukan sebab dorang yang bersusah payah pujuk memujuk aku, mungkin aku masih lagi tercari2 kot apa yang sesuai dengan aku. so, kesimpulannya, IKUTLAH CAKAP MAK DAN AYAH ANDA, tak rugi punya!

di kesempatan ni, walaupun aku tahu ma n pa aku maybe tak bace pun apa yang aku tulis ni, tapi aku tetap nak cakap

" ma & pa, terima kasih atas segala2nya yang ma n pa dah beri ke Na, terima ksih sebab dulu pernah "paksa" Na buat apa yang Na tak suka dan benda ni jadi benda yang Na paling suka buat sekali, THANK YOR EVERYTHING, money, time, all u gave me, tak terbalas jasa2 ma ngan pa terhadap Na, hanya ALLAH yang dapat membalasnya"

i loooooooooooooooooooooooovvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeee u both :) :) :) :) :)

Monday, May 10, 2010

thank you ALLAH!

salam and hi to all,

nothing much to say, but just wanna express my deepest gratitude and gratefulness to the only one, ALLAH the great!

thank you ALLAH
:)

song entitled thank you Allah sung by maher zain

I was so far from you
Yet to me you were always so close
I wandered lost in the dark
I closed my eyes toward the signs
You put in my way
I walked everyday
further and further away from you

Ooooo Allah, you brought me home
I thank you with every breath I take

الحمد لله الحمد لله
All praises to Allah


I never thought about
All the things you have given to me
I never thanked you once
I was too proud
to see the truth
And prostrate to you
Until I took the first step
And that's when you opened the doors for me
Now Allah, I realized what I was missing
By being far from you

الحمد لله
All praises to Allah

Allah, I wanna thank you
I wanna thank you for all the things that you've done
You've done for me through all my years I've been lost
You guided me from all the ways that were wrong
And did you give me hope


O Allah, I wanna thank you
I wanna thank you for all the things that you've done
You've done for me through all my years I've been lost
You guided me from all the ways that were wrong
I wanna thank you for bringing me home

الحمد لله
All praises to Allah

الحمد لله

:) :) :)

Friday, April 30, 2010

skeleton in the closet

salam and hi to all,

setelah 2 entries lepas aku tulis dalam bentuk penceritaan, aku rasa nak balik kepada benda biasa pulak. bukan apa, malas nak mencari-cari ayat nak karang cerita..hehe :P

tajuk diatas tu sebenarnya lebih kurang macam pepatah inggeris lah. dan maksudnya lebih kurang macam, setiap orang ada rahsia tersendiri yang dia simpan tanpa pengetahuan orang lain, dan rahsia tu mungkin akan bawa kebaikan atau keburukan pada dia.

sebenarnya agak lama dah aku memikirkan nak tulis pasal tajuk ni, tapi sebab aku fikir macam payah je nak put in words apa yang aku fikirkan, aku hold sekejap. so, skarang ni rasa2nya dah tahu kot nak tulis mcm mana. aku try ye? pelan-pelan...

aku sebenarnya suka sangat2 [read: tersangat amat sangat] pada rancangan yang berbentuk penyiasatan contohnya seperti CSI[NY, VEGAS, MIAMI],NCIS, NCIS:LA, crossing jordan, midsomer murders, jane doe, mcbride's, criminal minds and etc. dan lately, siri criminal minds tu jadi favorite sekarang. minat giler dengan cerita tu!

[apa yang aku nak tulis lepas ni pasal criminal minds]
salah satu benda yang buat aku tertunggu dan suka dan ketagih dan minat giler dan gemar siri ni adalah sebab cerita ni banyak berkisar pada perangai manusia dan apa yang kita boleh simpulkan dari setiap perbuatan yang dilakukan oleh criminal2 tersebut. macam baca minda penjenayah tersebut untuk nak tahu motif, sebab, sejarah, cara2 operasi dan yang penting sekali, tempat dan masa dia nak lakukan jenayah tu. biasalah, nama pun cerita, so setiap anggota BAU[Behavioral Analysis Unit]tu dianggap dan digammbarkan sebagai hebat dan sangat bijak. boleh baca minda dan langkah penjenayah tu nak gi mana lepas ni. nilai komersial orang berbisnes. <------ok. abaikan yang ni.

anggota2 BAU ni akan cuba sedaya upaya analisis perbuatan dorang untuk jejak trail mereka2 yang bersalah ni. mereka akan cari segala maklumat, rahsia dan fakta2 yang berkaitan pasal suspek dan bongkarkan. dan kadang2 boleh jadi terkejut dan tak sangka mereka boleh sampai ke tahap yang begitu sekali nak buat jenayah! dan banyak digambarkan ada antara2 penjenayah ni adalah sebenarnya orang yang sangat bijak pandai, kaya dan kadang2 sangat baik.
[ok. sampai sini saja sesi criminal minds]

sebenarnya, yang aku nak highlightkan kat sini adalah setiap perbuatan kita adalah bersebab. bermotif[cey CSI skit :P]. mesti ada sesuatu yang boleh trigger seseorang tu untuk buat jenayah. dan benda ni balik semula pada kisah hidup dia, sejarah lama, keluarga, kawan2, penyakit, fobia atau apa2 yang berkaitan.ingat, appearance can be deceptive!

sebab tu lah orang putih kata, skeleton in the closet. tak ramai yang akan buka closet orang lain melainkan dia betul2 rapat dengan orang tu. closet atau almari adalah merupakan barang peribadi seseorang. ye lah, kan kita simpan baju, seluar, diari sorok celah2 lipatan baju, barang kemas, duit etc. so, it's quite personal dan sangat penting untuk semua orang. skeleton tu merujuk kepada bahagian badan atau rangka manusia. secara logiknya, benda ni disimpan dalam bilik mayat, hospital, dalam tanah[kubur] etc, so kalau simpan dalam closet tu kan macam pelik dan aneh je kan? sebab tak kena pada tempatnya. dari sinilah, bila kita kata skeleton in the closet ni, kita dan tahu dah, ada sesuatu yang tak kena pada tempatnya disorokkan oleh tuannya. sama macam rahsia seseorang itulah, yang cuba disembunyikan dari orang lain atas sebab rahsia tu boleh memalukan atau bawa kebahagiaan pada dia.

samalah kita ni pun, aku pun ada jugak rahsia yang aku simpan sendiri, tanpa bagitahu pada mak ayah, kakak adik atau kawan2 pun. AKU SIMPAN SENDIRI sahaja sebab it is very personal for me. dan aku yakin korang pun mesti ada jugak kan rahsia yang korang tak bagitahu sapa2 pun, rahsia ni boleh jadi sangat kecil dan sangat besar. it's a normal thing. biasalah tu!

sebab tulah, kadang2 orang rasa kita ni dah baik dan bagus dah, tapi bila diorang tahu sesuatu hal dan ada kaitan dengan kita, terus diorang nak pandang bukan2 dan pelik2 kat kita. samalah macam kita buat kat orang lain juga. sebab semua orang ada skeleton in their closet too! :)

things happen for reason, remember that

owhhh...dah tersangat panjang lah pulak entry kali ni.
heheheheh...
oklah,

till then
salam and bye bye bye

P/S:
aku bukan bertujuan untuk agung2kan karya2 negara barat ke apa, nak puja2 mereka dalam kecekapan buat kerja ke apa, aku tahu semua tu hanya sebab kecanggihan teknologi dorang je, sebab idea2 mereka je, berlakon bolehlah buat mcm tu. tapi aku tonton sebab minat dan nak ambil iktibar dan at least, boleh jadi contoh dalam hidup. sebab ada antara cerita2 ni diolah dari cerita sebenar. dan aku juga minat2 saaaaaggggggggaaaaaaattttt pasal human behavioral ni, so benda ni mcm satu pakej lengkap lah kalau aku nak minta tengok cerita ni pun :P